Ramblings about Fighting Change

You can feel change in the air. Sure, the weather is a bit warmer, and the breeze is gentler and the smells of lilacs and tulips fill the senses (and in New York City sometimes also the smells of garbage and dog pee fill the senses-- yuck). We have clearly emerged from our winter hibernation into spring. But, what I meant is that change seems to be happening quickly and all around across all my worlds.

This time of year is interesting in the City. Many people decide whether they are going to sign an apartment lease for another year or put their apartments on the market and sell them with the hope that they will make the exodus to the suburbs in time for the September school year to start. So many of my long time city friends are moving to the suburbs this summer and big changes will be coming their way. I don’t like change! Never have -- never will; and sometimes it paralyzes my ability to make decisions.

We love the city and don’t have any plans of moving – that is one change that makes me a little sick to even think about. But, my New England roots and country soul is sometimes hungry for a slower lifestyle and one where I can plant a garden and flowers, sit on my porch and watch the kids play and sip a warm cup of coffee in the morning from a gigantic bottomless mug.

When I was young, change was always difficult for me; I wanted things to stay the same. I remember one New Year’s Eve in 1979 (yes, I remember that New Years) I was so upset because we would never see 1970’s again. I didn’t want the year to change to 1980. I still feel a twinge of that every year on New Years, and especially on my boys’ birthdays. I was putting away little boy clothes size two the other day because Owen has significantly outgrown them, and I thought to myself “Owen will never fit into these size twos again.” (Call the Whhhaaabulence I know).

I watch daily how my boys grow; how Liam is losing teeth; Owen has grown teeth; they are both outgrowing items of clothes; becoming fiercely independent and moving from grade to grade in school. I have read both of Katrina Kennison’s books, “Mitten Strings from God,” and “The Gift of an Ordinary Day,” and I completely agree with her about slowing down and embracing the ordinary moments. Moments like bath time, jammy time, stopping to see the big trucks or holding hands while crossing the street.

Through the years though, I have learned that fighting change is never the answer, and that nothing really stays the same. People move in and out of your life, they move to the suburbs, children change and grow up and jobs and clients come and go. A friend called me the other day and shared that he had been let go from the company he had been with for nearly a decade. He helped build a solid communications program there through the years, logged countless miles on airplanes all over the world and gave fully to his job. But, ultimately he was a casualty in a reduction in workforce. We had a long talk and I said to him, “maybe this is freeing you up to become the person you always wanted to be.”  And, so with change, there is opportunity—always. You just have to look for it.

I have found that it is critical to pour positive energy and gratitude into that change. When Liam loses his first front tooth (which is currently loose) I know his face will never be the same -- the little boy look with little teeth will be gone forever. But, imagine if he was in high school with little baby teeth. The idea is laughable.

I have learned to embrace my “gypsy soul” and find the good, the opportunity, the right energy for change, for evolution, for revolution.

So embrace it; hug it; know it is coming and breathe—for right now, there are beautiful lilac smells in the air.